THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED BY ICHIRO KISHIMI & FUMITAKE KOGA

Key Concepts: The Pillars of Adlerian Wisdom
The book introduces several transformative principles that challenge conventional self-help:

• Teleology (The "Why" Over the "How"): Unlike Freud’s focus on past causes (etiology), Adler focuses on present goals. We often "create" emotions like anger or anxiety to achieve a specific goal, such as avoiding a scary challenge or controlling someone else.
• The Separation of Tasks: This is the book’s most famous concept. Most interpersonal stress comes from meddling in other people's tasks or letting them meddle in yours. Whether someone likes you is their task; living your truth is yours.
• All Problems are Interpersonal Relationship Problems: Adler argues that if you were the only person in the universe, problems wouldn't exist. Our unhappiness stems almost entirely from how we relate to, compete with, or seek validation from others.
• Horizontal vs. Vertical Relationships: Stop seeing life as a ladder where people are above or below you. Instead, view everyone as "equal but not the same," replacing praise and rebuke with simple gratitude and encouragement.
• The Courage to Be Normal: True self-acceptance means having the courage to be "ordinary" rather than desperately trying to be special to prove your worth.
• Life is a Series of Dots: Life isn't a linear mountain climb where the "middle" doesn't count. It is a series of present moments (dots). If you are "dancing" in the now, you have already arrived.